Ego- That flippin balance

Clark Mumaw
5 min readMay 6


Part 1-EGO: balance

Out of balance all me no me

Big I versus little I. Pride and prejudice versus low self-esteem and confidence.

I have lived both sides. There once was a younger me who was more self-centered in the confidence of my abilities. You see, I was able to get results where others did not. Like assembling a successful plan and implementing it. Like finding what was not working and fixing it.

This side of ego me, had the trappings of too much pride and not enough humility. This youthful childhood me was ready and willing to believe my way was better. My results were all I needed to have proof of my superiority (although now I cringe to even say that). I see now my “I” was out of balance. Too much ego. Too much “I”.

There was also a younger me living along side that prideful me who had low self-esteem, who was unsure of my ability to provide any type of value added activity. The later, old and wiser me, needed others to confirm my value on me. I needed external recognition. I got it through volunteer work. I see now I was again out of balance. Too little ego. Too little “I”.

On the spiritual side, ego is a popular obstacle to blame for blocking spiritual progress. We are sometimes told to get rid of our ego.

I see ego as a sense of individuality.

From the all-is-one perspective, an overabundance of individuality does get in the way of unifying with the whole or merging with the whole. So yes, too much ego can be a spiritual obstacle.

On the opposite side, when I had too little ego I had a different problem. My lack of sense of self did not allow me to set reasonable self-care boundaries. I overcommitted my time to volunteering and taking care of others. It was good for me and served me well to boost my ego. But I can see now how out of balance my ego was. This little ego was also a spiritual obstacle because I did not think I was worthy of much. I did not think I had Christ consciousness in me and if I did it was certain not powerful.

I was more apt to see myself as a sinner than a saint. It is hard to claim your spiritual inheritance if you do not feel worthy of it. Just as it is hard for a child to achieve big things when they are being told, they are worthless. A small ego person often won't even try. They don't have the self-esteem/confidence to go after what they want.

Going after goals, requires is a sense of self (identity) large enough that supports standing up and saying I can do this. This standing up will face the criticism of yourself and others. Being able to move forward in spite of a criticism is a critical component to success. A small ego identity will often crumble in the face of criticism or failure. The small ego person quickly learns to NOT stand up.

Finding my balance between these two extremes has not been easy. More often I find myself on one side or the other. But I’m sure I'm getting a lot of practice. LOL And all my failures have increased my awareness of how to do it wrong and increased my desire to get it right.

How do we find a balance between too much pride and too much humility. Much like everything else we get good at. Practice practice practice.

My own journey has been more about removing things that block my way then adding things that made me whole. What I mean is I had more success in removing past trauma and other blocked energies like thinking that was negative. And yes it was still critically important for me to add things like spending time in nature and having a few supportive friends.

What I am saying is, I/we were born enough. Life overlaid interferes on us. It is our job to remove those interferences not to find and add more new and improved pieces to graft onto our souls.

Thus, a majority of my journey was definitely about clearing out energy blocks that were in my mind/body/soul complex. Of course your journey and experience will be different because you need different experiences and you have different things you need to learn. In other words clear up my inner space for all my energy to run efficiently without interferences.

Ego can be a tool for self awareness and spiritual progress.

At the same time ego can be an obstacle for spiritual progress.

In my own experience, finding a balance between the two extremes of ego was an important path to follow.

Part 2- Ego: flippin

Ego is a tool. A very useful tool. The more ego is identified as you, the more it is in the way. Another way of saying this is, the more detached I can be from ego the freer I am from the illusions of this world. The next layer for me is the less I am identified by my thoughts (my mind), the less I am tied to my body.

The more I filter my life, my experiences, my feelings through the “I” filter the more ego I have and the more I am separate from others.

Being aware I am of my “I” thoughts, the greater is the use of this tool. Awareness here is a tool towards understanding that I am seeing separation. I can then choose to flip the filter.

Instead of using the ”I” filter, I can use the “we” filter. The bigger the “we” the more inclusive I am. When my “we” includes my household I see less separation between us.

When my “we” includes my neighborhood I catch myself looking at other through the lens of, How are they doing?

When my “we” includes other countries, I find myself being more compassionate and understanding.

When my “we” includes other galaxies, I pray for all life to become their best selves.

Which filter is more beneficial to me and to others?

Should I get rid of the ego filter that fosters my compassion?

Is ego now evil?

Is ego in the way?

Awareness is an even bigger tool than ego. Self awareness allows me to choose who I want to be.



Clark Mumaw

ex-computer networking technician, post stroke survivor, metaphysical explorer, philosopher, interested in human psychology and spirituality